It’s the cops are coming in type of sobering up
It’s a girl who never learned that I could not give enough
And my friends are happy, I’m happy, I’ve learned to adapt
Darker kind of humor and I can still hear ‘em laugh
You are so valid. you are so amazing and valid and complex that sometimes even your own mind has trouble processing it. Take a hot bath, fill it with your favourite smells and wash your body clean. Wear your nicest colours that make you feel most handsome because, you are handsome. This will pass, and one day the dysphoric episodes will be so few and far between you’ll almost forget they happen. I love you.
I love you so much, and that is exactly why I need to stay far, far, far away from you.
I’m sorry I can’t do anything right. I’m sorry I’m such a failure. I’m sorry I’m the worst person to be around. I’m sorry that all I do is complain about how sad I am. I’m sorry I can’t love you better, and I hope one day I can, but for now, all I have are apologies and wishes to one day be with you paired with empty promises to live. I’m sorry I say “I’m sorry” so much that we both know that one day it might be the only word I know how to say anymore. I’m so sorry for being like this.
I’m sorry I push you away with every word I say, yet every moment I spend dangled in this life destroys pieces of me as well. I’m sorry i cannot express how much I am totally in love with you, the life you bring to my emptiness, while it’s bursting behind my lips. I’m sorry for pitying myself and the punching bag I feel myself to be. I’m sorry i never tell you things. I’m sorry i’ve failed you. I’ve failed myself, too. I’m so, so so sorry for being who I am in comparison to the beautiful soul you are. Perhaps i’ll push you away first to save you from the pain.
Honey.
You are the most wonderful person I have ever met. You are not a failure for mistakes that you may have made. You grow and you learn, and you get better every day in tiny ways. I love being with you and I love being there for you. I want to hear you complain. I want to know what is making you sad. I truly care about you. I know it’s hard to see that, it’s hard to accept that someone can care about you. I know you’re going to try to push me away. But I’ll always stay by your side. You are worth every bit of effort i can put into you. You are worth every night spent worrying that I might lose you. You are worth every night spent holding your hand, loving you even when you feel unlovable. I can stay strong and I can stay by your side because I know that you truly love me. You are a beautiful soul, and you deserve all the love I can give you. You have a warm and kind heart, and I feel so lucky to be close to you. Thank you for letting me into your life, for opening up to me, for trusting me.
I love you.